Your ways clearly doesn’t work so stop focusing on the circumstances and start looking to what the word of God says. Don’t allow your perception of your circumstances form your reality. You must let the reality of God words inside of you form your perception.
The way you see the world, how you identify with people, is all filtered through your mind.
Stop being so double-minded where you say you want change, you want to be a better man, but your outside thinking keeps telling you that you’re not worthy of that happening for you.
Your mind will do whatever it takes to prove itself right according to your core beliefs. You have to change those beliefs so that your thinking will allow the blessings of God to come into your life.
You have to honestly look at where you are and change what is inside you so that you can get to where you want to be in the future.
“Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything BUT because you say so I will let down the nets.” ~ Luke 5:4-7